theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
