Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
