Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
