i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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