I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
