some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
