After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
