..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
