pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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