Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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