I can tuck mytits in my pants
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
