By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
