the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
