You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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