yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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