Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got her a Nickelback box set.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
