Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
