yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
