mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
