you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
