Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
