I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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