Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
