i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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