Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
