actually, I'm a sock model
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
