God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
