Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
