i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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