I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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