WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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