I just cut my nipple shaving
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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