I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
