She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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