Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
