yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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