He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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