I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
