so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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