i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
