oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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