We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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