i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
