I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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