Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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