I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
