i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
