You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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