What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
