We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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